scorpion blues

I just came back from a wonderful holiday to the himalayas…….yes its was wonderful and very overwhelming….it just shows us how small we are and egos—have no space in front of these mighty mountains…I just realised there is so much to it beyond all of human understanding…beyond life….death…the afterworld….the spirits…or god…and I know it was just FAITH……..what I think Kalil Gibran describes the best sayin…”Faith is knowledge in the heart within,beyond the reach of proof.”Something which I wish not to comprehend or get into and just enjoy the feeling and experience I had.

I still remember tht day when u behaved like a bitch and ended my blissful journey then which was a very important time for me!!…still blossoming into adulthood and when my heart was like a petal easily capable of tearing into fractions of pieces and buried…I was still trying to build myself and my heart was vunerable…u bitch yeah u major bitch…culdnt see me happy for just a little while..could u….and its been a long time since then and I will not forgive nor forget…why shuld I?…my rage is overpowering me and I will not even take into consideration buddha”Desire is the Cause Suffering”and I still 7 yrs later want to see u cry and beg for forgiveness……believe me if u came in front of me I’d kill u …..and no I wont ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever FORGIVE OR FORGET!!!!! 

Im leaving tomorrow with family,the big happy gujju family for a holiday to the himalayas actually more of a pilgrimage and not very exited bout it dunno why…my mum is so used to my ugly face and truly believes tht it for the good,cause every time I have been exited something goes wrong and now its all bout thank god shes is in one of her moods….hehe im as happy as im in my world not bothered and easily escaping the scoldings tht my poor sister recieves….

The only thing im really exited bout is the white water river rafting hmmmmmmmm amazing I dont care how freezing the water is or any of tht sort but definately jumping into it….

I just really hope all is good and we have a wonderful time and a safe trip!!!!

A while ago the papers claimed tht two lions are found dead in the Gir forests which is the only lion sanctuary in Asia and few days later again six more lions are found dead and not only dead but skinned and de-boned by poachers…why should I bother so much every single day many animals are killed so wat the big deal…IT IS!!!

This december my family decided to take a holiday to the gir forests and I cant say I was reluctant but I was definitely not very happy as my personal favorite is the Tiger but when I went there and saw them myself I still dint care much and only felt bad for tht kid(a goats young) tied up there to keep the lions alert and let a few happy intrusive tourists click a few snaps and invade wat I call mother cub time in the heat of the afternoon…and in my head I was also thinkin the Nikon D200 is the ultimate camera I should have it for obvious reasons

But when I came back and realised the value of these animals who dont have anything to do with us are just asking for wat we all want thier own space and who are we to even go in their homes and kill them ???

The local ‘vaagri tribe’ are prime suspects as they are the only humans living in the sanctuary premises in wat is known as ‘nesdas’ but I am no one to blame them or support them for me whoever is done is equivalent to a rapist and the punishment should be CASTRATION…(yes I can see those eyebrows clenching, men)but thts the solution and if they cant live nor can u!!!

My grandma has come to stay over,and I know its not going to be the best week…dont get me wrong I love her I really really do.She’s brought me up the best way ever…only thing shes getting old and forgetful and like a child …she cries easily when told something and feels neglected and all of tht…..

She wants me to be the perfect girl…….dainty and ladylike and know perfect homemaking rules and all at one level and at the other she wants me to be this very well educated girl with financial independence and she even tells me to look for a guy myself and not the whole arranged marriage thing.Such an irony and when I aruge with her saying its more important for a girl to know everything and the world is changing and my priorities are changing too and I dont wish to learn how to cook or knit either..and then again the whole ur the elder sisiter and need to take responsibilty of the house and now let ur mom retire form the “household duties”

But its the end of the week shes gone and it passed well not as bad as it did the last time and I think cause I decided just say yes and ok to make her feel happy and yes I was successfull…hehehe

Every friday I wait for this article in the supplement by this person who I find extremely fascinating.He explains the most complex subjects of daily life and above in the most simple and scientific way…

Todays article he wrote on something tht was troubling me for a while now….one of my good and close friends suddenly decides to cut of all ties with no explaination and gives me the silent treatment and I wonder why since I havent done anything to her…..then I read this article tht says nothing can be destroyed its only energy tht is transfering in some form to the other.For (eg) life— we take birth live and die,the earth rotates and every year we start anew,seasons and all things have a pattern and we reach a full circle and thus the circle of life…..O…..

Spiritually speaking we also have a cycle to complete like the karmic cycle and normally believed tht we end and start from  the same point to complete another cycle of life….

Talking of human relationships,a bonding is “energetically”described as a band of energy that connects people at the TAN TIEN,an energy centre near the navel.We are associated to so many people and each one of them holds a strand and each time I wondered why my frend cut of ties or is holding back I dint realise tht in this complete cycle we probably rose and then we reached the zenith of our relationship and then a decline but it can never be broken there will always be a slender connection that will remain (mr sridhar puts it) and maintained which will manifest itself in this lifetime or future births…

I dont hope much only thing I was given an explanation to why from us being a telepathic bond has it become a slender mere connection.

Now tan tien such an intersting term…if u think bout it its so true and all forms of bonding begin here….a child is joined from the umbilical cord to the mother the only life giving system….then when we have exams why do most people get weird cramps in that area of out body we feel all the energy is sucked out from here…why because most religions believe we r joined to THE SUPREME ONE from here the tan tien and we r the part of the universe and a tan tien proves it and when we feel disoreintated the world seems to be in a chaos too cause we r equally putting in as much of our problems to the world and there is a connection so thus now i know when my mom says be positive and you will know how great things will work out for u….

and this for u U.B believe me negativity is something u will recieve when u throw it out..its manifestation of ur emotions only…thus next time ur computer slows down plzzz give it time and be nice to it and then u will have magic…..